an owl's soul.

There was a tree upon a hill,

Whose brittle limbs were bare.

That shivered in the winter chill,

And slept in autumn air.

This barren tree, she had a dream,

That one day she would fly,

She would escape this friendless theme

And taste the summer sky.

All the sparrows she would follow;

Would sing their heartfelt song.

To the raven and the swallow

With them she would belong.

But every day the tree would wake,

For it was not to be.

And then her weary heart would break,

The lost and lonely tree.

But one grey day – there came a storm,

That shook the world around.

It tossed and turned her twisting form,

But to the earth was bound.

When suddenly – a light came down,

A loud and angry crack.

Then on her lit a fiery crown

That broke her wooden back.

And then that tree – she was consumed

De’voured by hungry flame

And to the dust the tree was doomed,

The earth she then became.

But then a breeze came flutt’ring by,

That lifted up her soul,

And brought the tree into the sky –

Her freedom made her whole.

And now she rides where’ere she please

And through the clouds she’ll soar;

and with the sparrows, and the bees,

the tree’s lonesome no more.

~C

it's a long way home.

I am empty. You are empty. We all are nothing but dark roads and white knuckles.

The whole world is a lifeless shell of catatonic mannequins, whose hollow faces mirror how my insides feel. I want to climb up, stand onto the platform with them and freeze; to never move, or smile, or laugh, or breathe again. But to just stop, and watch the world go by through a box of solid glass.

I am empty. You are empty. But I am aware of a beating heart inside cage of ribs. It weakly pounds its way out with painful words; until it falls from the hole it’s made and falls

Splat

To the ground. A fish out of water.

As if my grave wasn’t deep enough. Make it deeper with selfish intentions.

I am empty. You are empty.

But there is always hope in the dark.

I just haven’t found it yet.

~C

old remedies for broken hearts.

Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred – how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to destroy what we once possessed; a soul? That we now send our children into the world like we send young men into a war—hoping for their safe return, but knowing, that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows; swallowed whole by the darkness. For there comes a time when every life will be thrown onto this course of potential suicide; unceremoniously hurled into the onslaught of stampeding lies -- burying our bruised and broken body in the stink of our own ideals of perfection.

In that desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you must be? Will you label yourself, or allow others to create a word for your behaviors? Will you be honored by your choices? Will you find and embrace a new path, despite the consequences?

Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

But you must always remember what I often need to remind myself of:

Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there will be a day when you realize you're not just a survivor; you're a fighter. It’s not the big hard trials that are thrown into your life that can tear you apart, it is the day to day living that will break you down. So now you know. You are stronger than anything because you are still breathing, you are tougher than all that life throws your way. And do you know what?

You really are.

~C