Tuesday, August 16, 2011

i don't need a home, just a compass and a map.






Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

Oh, what a life I have lived thus far! How much more of this joy will my heart be capable of bearing before I burst?

Not much.

My soul has expanded beyond my previous comprehension, and is continuing to grow.

I live somewhere else entirely now. I so wish that I could tell you that I am off in my own wonderland and solitude – lost in a maze of dancing trees entwined, engulfed in a swirling mist and surrounded by gatherings of frost bitten roses; delightful petrichor permeating the air – but the reality is nearly as pleasing.

I have moved since last I was here.

Twice.

The first move was out of a fairy tale. I lived in an enchanted land of time; filled with secrets in the trees, wisdom in the water, and music on the lips. I fell in love with the earth there, and it touched me in ways I could never fully describe, or even begin explaining to understanding.

What a wonderful year it was. I came with nothing but the clothes on my back, and left with nothing but memories.

Now I am moved elsewhere.

Another time, another city, another life.

It is so different here now. The air is filled with a sense of newness. The lack of mystery saturates my senses, and I am overwhelmed with a great sense of loss for what I have given up and left behind. But my soul must always be in a state of movement. Ever growing, ever learning. When that growing slows, I must change. I must find an escape.

I have been strengthened and molded by a love of God and dusty books in hidden shops. I need to continuously remind myself that it isn’t where I am that matters, because I will always have what I need with me. My body, my spirit, and my Lord. Everything else is inconsequential. Allow me to ponder and make a list of what I do enjoy about my new home.

C.S. Lewis on a grand scale. Commentary of many children. Local music artists. Raspberries are delicious. Reflections in a lake. Sunny skies and rainy days. I have a balcony. Empty space and the imagination to fill it. Adventures playing on my closed eyelids. Perhaps I will get a bike. And a typewriter.

Too much goodness here. And it is just waiting for me to discover it all.

Take a breath and hold it, do not let it go,

Keep in all your sorrows; lock up all your woes.

Time will slow to stop; the world is standing still,

And you and I away escape are lost amid the thrill.

~C

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